Three and Nine
by sofeyrose
Summary: Naruko was blaming Jashin for the situation she found herself in. She bet no one had ever been a possibly insane, homicidal Mizukage's fiancé before, or their wife to be. "Curse you Jashin! I hate you! I hope Kami and Shinigami and all the other gods are giving you hell right now!" Well, fuck. Now she was going mad. (possibly the first ever Yagura/fem! Naruto fanfic!)


The Sandaime Hokage calmly took a puff of his pipe while his eyes strayed to the self-proclaimed Prankster Queen of Konohagakure as he read the latest complaint from the people of his village. "Lets see...you put itching powder in the majority of the Hyuga clan's underwear, pinned Sakura Haruno to a wall with kunai with a sign above her that said 'Escaped Monkey Please Return To Zoo!', indirectly caused a bucket of cockroaches to pour onto Ino Yamanaka, drizzled honey all over Shikamaru Nara's face while he was napping, and last of all, stole Kakashi Hatake's Icha Icha book collection, burnt them in all in a pyre, and then screamed about him being a pedophile, causing a bunch of angry women and men to hunt him down and try to give him a beating, right in the middle of Konoha." He gave the girl sitting on a chair a short distance from his desk a flat look. "Was all that really necessary, Naruko?"

Naruko Uzumaki stared back at him;defiant she was in the face of everything. "Uh-huh, of course it was!"she exclaimed, giving the Hokage an offended glare. "That guy with the mask is a pervert and an aloof bastard!" Her expression darkened as she thought of _another _certain 'aloof bastard'. _'Damn Sasuke-teme...'_

The Sandaime Hokage wasn't impressed. "Naruko, your prank on the Hyuga clan has made them enraged at the humiliation they received. Some of them are demanding compensation." He repressed an eye-twitch at the sight of Naruko very _blatantly _ignoring him, muttering under her about 'aloof bastards and what's so cool about them, anyway? They're bastards, and that's that, dattebayo!'. "Naruko!"

"Huh!" The blonde was brought out of her daydream about beating up the one called 'Sasuke-teme' in question, because he was a bastard, and that was enough for her to want to beat him up, because _surely _bastards like him couldn't change and were irredeemable, right? The sight of the Sandaime giving her a disapproving look made her huff, and she turned her head, deliberately turning her back on him. "What, Old Man? For the love of Kami, you're acting like you're my grandfather or something!"

For the hundredth time, Hiruzen Sarutobi wondered why he even bothered trying to discipline the girl. She was as stubborn as a mule, and no amount of scoldings or punishment for her pranks when she went a bit _too _far was going to make her quit playing pranks on the residents of the village when she wanted to. And no matter how much grief she gave him by playing pranks on clans like the Hyuga, the wizened old man couldn't find it in himself to forbid her from her pranking ways. It would hurt her terribly, and considering it was her only escape from the cold and icy gazes of the villagers...he couldn't do that to her. But still, this was a serious matter: the Hyuga clan looked truly frightening in their tranquil rage, even the strongest shinobi of Konoha living had to admit that. With their level of influence, they could make life hell for Naruko, more of a hell than it was at the moment. She was an orphan and an Academy student, with no clan, no parents or living relatives known, and she was practicaly friendless. There would be no one to defend or shield her from the Hyuga's wrath. If he, the Hokage and leader of Konoha tried, it would be seen as favoritism. When he visited Hiashi Hyuga, head of the Hyuga clan, Hiruzen had promised the man it wouldn't happen again.

_"See that it doesn't,"_the man had said, coldness evident in his tone. _"It would...displease me if the Uzumaki girl were to do such a thing to us twice."_

Hiashi wasn't known to be a forgiving man, and he certainly wouldn't forgive Naruko if she humiliated him by pranking the Hyuga clan a second time. As such, Hiruzen was determined to get the words 'The Hyuga are off limits pranking wise, _permanently' _through Naruko's skull.

"Naruko, the Hyuga clan are very angry with you. Whatever gave you the idea pranking one of Konoha's most noble clans was a good plan?"

"Whatever gave me the idea it was a good plan?!"she repeated, suddenly extremely pissed off at the _Kami of Shinobi _as she whirled around to face him with an angry glare. At this point, Naruko didn't care if the Sandaime was Konoha's leader and thus, her superior. His question only made her angrier. "The idea that made me think it was a fucking good plan was the fact that they've all but broken one of their members self-esteem!"

Hiruzen was quick to connect the dots. _'Hinata Hyuga.' _The daughter of Hiashi, the rightful heiress to the Hyuga, and a girl that's so shy no one ever notices she's there half the time. Hiashi had all but abandoned Hinata, convinced she was a lost cause because of her slow progress in the techniques of the Hyuga, leaving her care and protection to Kurenai Yuhi, a recently promoted Jonin. Hiruzen was surprised Naruko even noticed what was going on with Hinata;the blonde was usually so dense.

Naruko wasn't done. "That Hiashi-teme is a bastard that needs to be taught a lesson! What kind of father does that to his own daughter?!" By this time, Naruko was literally screaming in Hiruzen's face. "I don't give a crap that he got his nickers in a twist because of my prank on that clan of assholes (excluding Hinata, of course)! They deserve it!"

"Naruko-"

"Shut up!"she cut him off, eyes flashing red briefly, a moment Hiruzen caught. "You haven't even done something about it! You're just as guilty as them!" She quickly got off her chair and ran from the room. "I did what no one had the guts to do! So why don't you shut up 'Hokage' !"

It was with a guilty expression Hiruzen watched Naruko leave through the door. He put his head in his hands, suddenly feeling much older than he really was. _'I shouldn't have to deal with all this shit.'_ In that moment, Hiruzen wished he was still in retirement and he had handed the Hokage position off to one of his former students after the death of the Yondaime, preferably Tsunade or Jiraiya. _'Though Tsunade would never accept it.'_

His mood only worsened when his former teamates (and now advisors), Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane came through the door a few minutes later.

"Hiruzen, was that Naruko Uzumaki storming out of the Hokage Residence?"Koharu questioned him almost immediately. She looked immensely annoyed, and Hiruzen wondered if Naruko had done something to get his old friend in such a mood. It really wouldn't surprise him; Naruko had always had an issue with authority.

"Probably,"he said quietly, still dwelling on what Naruko had shouted at him before she'd dashed out of the room. There was plenty of truth in what she'd said, and it made Hiruzen feel terribly guilty. He'd turned a blind eye to Hinata Hyuga's suffering, and all because he believed it was a clan matter and so something he couldn't get involved with lest he anger the Hyuga clan. They provided Konoha with their all-seeing Dojutsu and had produced some seriously talented shinobi in his lifetime. That's not to mention they have a lot of influence in Konoha as one of its Four Noble clans. He had believed it was best he not anger the Hyuga, otherwise they might decide to go somewhere else, and then Konoha would loose clients that specifically needed a Hyuga to do a mission they'd requested. The Daimyo wouldn't be too happy, either. "What is it you wanted?" he asked Koharu, deciding to get straight to the point of their visit.

"It is not what we wanted, but more what we need to inform you of,"Homura said. "The Yondaime Mizukage is here requesting your presence. He says it is a matter of importance."

Hiruzen twitched. "Oh?" The Yondaime Mizukage that started the Bloodline Purges in Kirigakure? The man who was the reason for the deaths of hundred upons hundred of Bloodline wielders? _That _same Yondaime Mizukage? In his village, where there was plenty of Bloodline wielders living their lives? "I'll be there in a moment."

**Elsewhere...**

Naruko Uzumaki marched down the streets of Konoha with a murderous look on her face. She was so angry, she didn't even notice the cold stares of the villagers, the way they sneered at her, how children tugged on their parents' arms and stabbed their fingers in her direction.

_'Stupid, old fucking man, who does he think he is?!'_she raged. _'I did the right thing! If those bastard Hyuga even think they can hurt Hinata anymore then they already have, they'll do it over my dead body!' _She suddenly broke out into a sprint, pushing past people without a care for her rude actions. Naruko needed to take out her anger on something before she did something she would regret.

Naruko was so focused on venting her anger, she never noticed the hidden figure following her...

**With Hiruzen...**

"I'm glad you could meet me on such short notice."

The Yondaime Mizukage spoke in that same, toneless voice he always had. Yet, it was also soft, in a way, so much it was almost creepy. A male had no right to sound so. But Hiruzen had seen and heard eerier and more disturbing things in his lifetime, so he just nodded from his seat by the circular table in the center of the conference room.

The Mizukage was quite young for one in his position, a mere nineteen years old. Yet, he appeared to be younger than even that. But nonetheless, no shinobi would dare underestimate him despite his short height and deceptive appearence. No shinobi that was actually smart, at least.

The young man had a head of messy, light-grey hair, pink pupiless eyes and a rather strange stich-like scar running from under his left eye, all the way down to his cheek. He wore the robes typical of the Mizukage of Kirigakure, but he was not currently wearing the Mizukage hat. Instead, it stayed on the table after he took it off once Hiruzen arrived. It was just them in the room;Kage and Kage, no one else. They'd both agreed to keep the Mizukage's bodyguards out of the room to lesson the tension.

"It must have been a strenuous journey for you to travel from Kirigakure all the way to Konohagakure,"Hiruzen said politely. "It is at least three days travel."

The Yondaime Mizukage didn't blink. "Not at all. But, lets not bother with small talk. I didn't come all the way here to do that."

"Certainly not,"Hiruzen agreed, even though he was rolling his eyes inside. _'Still as blunt as ever, Yagura.' _He took a puff of his pipe. "So, why is it you wish to see me so suddenly? If this is about the Bloodline Purges, no, I will not lend any of my shinobi just so they can shed innocent lives." Yagura had asked for Konoha's help before in killing the Bloodline wielders in Kirigakure. He called it 'cleansing'. Hiruzen had declined as politely as he could.

"The reason for this meeting is not about that." Yagura interlaced his fingers. "No, this is about a violation of a certain agreement between my father and the Yondaime Hokage." He cast an eye in Hiruzen's direction. "A marriage contract."

Hiruzen remained calm. "Minato never said anything about any agreement between him and the Sandaime Mizukage."

"Are you sure, Hokage-dono? Or are you lying to hide the truth?" Yagura held up a document. "To ensure Kirigakure and Konohagakure stayed on neatral terms and war did not break out between them, my father and Namikaze arranged for myself to marry the Yondaime Hokage's first born. With the Hokage's child marrying the next Mizukage-to-be, it would ensure an alliance between our villages." His gaze was suddenly cold. "Or it would have, had you not lied to Kirigakure and told us my fiance died during the Kyuubi's Attack on Konoha, something I have recently discovered to be false. Why did you lie to Kirigakure, Hiruzen? To me and my father?"

Hiruzen was silent for a moment. "I believe you've overstayed your welcome,"he said finally. He made to get out of his chair. "Minato died childless. If you'll excuse me, I have some other matters to attend to." Like the Hyuga problem Naruko had all but screamed in his face about.

"I believe Kushina was pregnant and due to give birth sometime in October."

Hiruzen tensed only slightly. "It think it would be best if you leave, Mizukage-Dono." How had he forgotten about that? Yagura and Kushina had known each other because they were Jinchuriki. They'd met a few times, off the battlefield mostly. Hiruzen wouldn't call them friends, but they had got along well enough. He must be getting rusty in his old age...

Yagura was expressionless, but his eyes were cold. "Very well. I will not waste anymore of your time." He leaned forward in his seat. "However...just remember, Hiruzen, Kirigakure does not forget. I do not forget. You would do well to remember that."

"Leave,"Hiruzen said simply.

Yagura inclined his head slightly. "Good day to you, Hiruzen." And then he stood, put the Mizukage hat back on his head and swept out of the room.

Hiruzen let out a world-weary sigh. _'I forget how tiresome this job can be...'_

**With Yagura...**

"Mizukage-sama." His two bodyguards greeted him outside the room. "How did it go?"

"Exactly how I thought it would." He glanced at them. "Hiruzen is loosing his touch as he gets older. He will have to retire sooner or later, and Konoha has few shinobi eligible for the Hokage position:Tsunade, Jiraiya, and perhaps Kakashi Hatake. Danzo Shimura is still an unknown. But on another note, the plan worked perfectly. Harusame, has Utakata done his part yet?"

Harusame allowed a small smile to grace his face. "He is collecting the girl as we speak."

A self-satisfied gleam entered Yagura's eyes. "Good."

The other bodyguard spoke up;she was a young woman with green hair and striking orange eyes. "It's for the best we go now, Mizukage-sama." She smiled, but it held no warmth. "The walls have ears."

Yagura nodded. "Let us go, then."

**With Naruko...**

Naruko finally stopped striking the training post, panting slightly as she observed the training post. It was battered and wrecked, but also a bit bloody. She looked down at her bloody knuckles. The blonde had been punching the training post so hard, the wood had cut through her knuckles and scratched the finger bones. Her knuckles were bleeding quite heavily.

After she'd hurried away from the streets to vent her anger, Naruko found this training ground. It wasn't much, only a few training posts here and there, but she was the only one there and she was content with that. She didn't know what would happen if someone was there when she'd found it. Naruko had still been incredibly furious when she found it, and she really didn't want someone to see her when she was like that. However, she'd since calmed down, and she was starting to feel a little guilty.

_'Maybe I was too hard on the Old Man_,'she thought guiltily _'I mean, there's gotta be a reason he hasn't stepped in by now and done something about the Hyuga-Temes, right?' _The realization that maybe he did actually have a reason only made her feel more guilty, before her eyes lit up in determination. _'I know! I'll make it up to him! Dattebayo!'_ The thought cheered her up greatly, and Naruko grinned to herself.

A twig snapped.

Naruko jumped, whirling around quickly. "Huh? What was that?" She peered around the training ground. A sudden thought occured to her. _'What if it's...a ghost?'_ She paled rapidly at the very thought, feeling extremely nervous all of a sudden. "Uh...hello?"

Stilling silence. Naruko gulped. _'Pleas don't be a ghost, please don't be a ghost, please don't be a ghost,'_she chanted in her mind. _'For the love of Kami, please don't be a ghost!'_

And a bubble flew over her head. Naruko blinked. "Huh?"

And then her world went black.


End file.
